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as presented at the
Funeral on 01/06/05
TIMOTHY ROSS - I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
My beautiful boy seemed reluctant to be born.
He was 2 weeks late and it was a difficult birth
resulting in an emergency Caesar because of foetal distress – he was the
biggest baby in a humidity crib in intensive care for a couple of
hours.
He made his presence felt though - spending his first
week crying – which resulted in hours in the “bad baby” corner listening
to recorded sounds of the womb to calm him.
This was an indication of how he would treat life there
on in – FULL ON!
Even at a very young age he moved from challenge to
challenge – a new game would be analyzed - tactics established –
ultimate goal achieved – and then he would move on to the next game.
This continued into his teen years and throughout the
process of gaining the life skills he needed he placed enormous pressure
on himself, always wanting to do better.
I won’t list his achievements – suffice it to say
whatever he did he was good at.
Life is not always predictable and our circumstances
altered causing us to form a close knit supportive family group which
too, brought its particular lessons.
Tim was a loving, caring, compassionate person. Tashi and
Kat would agree he was always someone you could go and talk to and share
your problems with, but he had an intense and serious side. As a
mother you feel all the hurts, the pain and the joy that your children
experience so intensely - and I hold every memory of him in my
heart.
He did take life very seriously and only in the last few
months of his life did he really learn to play – just for the fun of it
'I am so pleased TIM that we had such a beautiful weekend
the week before you left us when we saw you full of life, relaxed and
playing for the sheer joy of it'
TIM LOVED FLYING!
He had moved away from home, had his perfect job and had
found a loving playmate. He left us having achieved yet another goal.
When we flew to Cairns following the accident we were
devastated - unsure of what was before us but we found that Tim had
surrounded himself with like minded, supportive people and could not
have been happier.
These same people took the time to show me in detail, the
only part of his life I had missed.
I said GOODBYE to my sweet boy in Cairns when we watched
the plane he usually flew take off over the picturesque hills into the
clouds. It gave me the opportunity to lift him off the
mountain and release him to fly forever free.
Please take away with you my favorite, very precious
photograph of Tim……. (On the Page Banner)
To me – the look in his eye says it all
“I am OK Mum”
I feel I have been very privileged to have shared the
life of a very special person for 21 wonderful years and while he may
have left us physically and the pain of that loss may linger I know in
my heart that Tim is in a place now with a wisdom it is hard for us to
contemplate and his experience here, I imagine, is fairly minor in the
scheme of things.
'Tim you have brought joy and pleasure to so many people
and you will be missed so much but you will live in our hearts forever.'
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as presented at the Memorial service on 17/05/05
Tim...................You are our Rose!
'Wow!!
Tim you did it!'
As I
look around at each of you I am amazed. What do I feel? I feel LOVE,
LIFE, that sense of 'I AM'.
Tim
you found each of these.
You
learnt - To love yourself & so were able to love others.
You
lived - The Power of Now & so you were able to touch the lives of
others. Each one of us here is a testimony to this.
The
Buddhists teaching.
There is no Birth..No Death..only attachments.
Life
is a cohesion.
It
is only the form, the way we manifest that changes.
Consider: The waves - big, small! The
Calm! The water with which we Wash! The clouds - soft fluffy ones,
powerful storms! Snow, rain, ice, humidity! They are all the same
essence - Water - and so are you Tim, for even though we can't see you,
touch you - YOU ARE HERE - NOW!
Tim,
as I visited Cairns this time I was inspired.
 |
Your LIGHT!
Your LIFE shone wherever you went! You left trails of little
hearts of LOVE, WISDOM, COMPASSION, GENTLENESS, FUN and a sense of
ADVENTURE! |
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You Dared! -
to CHOOSE, to be proactive, to reach for your Dream. |
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You Allowed
your light to manifest and shine so bright. |
Tim;
Your Mother & I, Tash & Kat were graced with your presence in our
family.
"A
rare and wonderful gift of the divine for 21 years"
Yes
I must applaud your Mum, Denise for all the time, energy and love she
gave to you.
We
had our frailties and troubles that I know caused you so much pain....
and we are sorry.
You
had your 'Black Period' in your teens manifested in the colours you
chose for your bedroom and the music you listened to! A time when
it felt like the world was against you and your Dad had deserted you,
but he had not!
Then
in your late teens 3 major events happened:
-
Your good
school friend, Kristie, tragically died of Cancer and your deep love
and compassion with your sense of adventure stirred you to
ride solo on a pushbike from Brisbane to Sydney in 9 days for CanTeen.
-
Your mother
unbeknown to me gave you a book, 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
Teenagers' which you avidly read and responded to.
The Life Lesson
The spiritual truth contained within is:
Do
not blame....yourself......the world.....others.....your environment for
so much of this is not truth just our perception.
Instead look inside.....take and change what I can control....
Me -
My values - My beliefs - My attitudes - My behaviour - Learn
to be Me.
Work
from the inside - out and keep the end in mind - Tim you did
it! - Seek to understand the other person. See the Angel they
have forgotten, for as you do this your perception will change so will
the 'World' around you, and so it was with you.
When
I entered your bedroom this last week - There was no black, only light
- The bedcover was bright - your room was filled with photo's of
your life.
Yes
Tim, you grasped this truth and became a living example to me, to you,
for in 3 short years you made this choice. I and each one of you here
were witness to this amazing transformation.
Chrysalis to beautiful Butterfly.
You
grew from a hurt boy to be a magnificent man - adored by
all.
-
Then I had
the privilege of your company on a business trip to Whistler
Canada. - 'Bugger! you sure made it hard to get you there but you
CAME!' We lived together, shared space, a bedroom even, if I did get
bombarded with pillows for snoring! You chased me down, or
rather I tried desperately to keep up with your gorgeous butt as we
skied Whistler mountain, in waist deep powder.
One
day you stopped, looked at me and said "This is the NEW VERSION - better
version. Follow me!" So I did.....
,We
did the hard miles together as we shared, played, laughed
and we had fun, but something puzzled me ......the evenings...... and
after 3 days I suddenly realized when you came back full of yourself &
with pride, said
"Dad
remember that guy you met in the spa the other night.. I've just been
chatting and having a drink with him!"
He
had needed the space to learn by observation how to manage in a strange
place when you know no-one.
I
learned the importance of giving my son space. This trip was
capped off with 3 days in Hawaii watching the surf at 'Pipeline ' and
the next day surfing the Hawaiian waves.
I
learned that there is nothing more precious than one on one time with
your children.
Tim
you had become my Coach!
Three weeks after our return, having spent the last two years at Q.U.T.,
doing Human Movements, You rang me and said.
"Guess what Dad... I've just done my first flying lesson! I am going to
be a Commercial Pilot in nine months time!" - you could have knocked me
down with a feather!
Tim
you were proactive, you wrote down your goals, you kept your promises to
yourself. You worked hard, were committed, eager to learn, precise,
responsible and careful in all that you did.
You
loved to fly and I must say I know in my heart, you would have done
everything in your power to have prevented this accident.
I am
proud of the man you were, your flying ability, for when you were in
command I always felt safe and I flew many hours with you.
Then
you flew 'Around Australia' - Solo - joined by Craig in Darwin, passed
your A.T.P.L. subjects and started your first job as a professional in
Cairns.
You
made it, loved your girlfriend Jo and the friends that you made.
Thankfully, our family, Jo, Craig and Grant were privileged to spend
your last weekend with you when you competed in the Mooloolaba Triathlon
for St Paul's. You were meant to do the 40km bike leg only but
filled in and did the 10km run as well. When I caught up with you
afterwards you, stood beside me at Mooloolaba Beach; fit, vibrant and
satisfied.
I
looked into your face and my heart leapt. The energy I received from
this radiant face, glowing eyes, invigorated body was Pure Love and Joy.
Then I looked again and I knew the transformation was complete - YOU DID
IT - . For this time I saw that sense of "I AM" You loved yourself (no
arrogance), you were proud of you! Your heart was full of gratitude for
all that you are.
You
are an inspiration to me and others. I am so proud to be your father -
To have loved the 'Boy' that became a 'Man' filled with: LOVE, WISDOM -
beyond his years, COMPASSION - for others, GENTLENESS OF SPIRIT- see his
hands, the way they caress the 'yoke' in the picture, SENSE OF FUN &
ADVENTURE - your life was exciting.
Tim!
I LOVE YOU! I am proud of You!
You
are my son, my friend, my teacher, my coach, my BEST MATE - I miss your
physical presence but:
I
REJOICE in You.
I
GLORY in whom you are.
I
know that in your 'New Form', you will continue to touch those around
you....So they can 'BE' more than they are!
The Rose
Near a shady wall a Rose once grew
Budded and blossomed in God's free light,
Watered and fed by the morning dew,
As it grew and blossomed fair and tall
it came to a crevice in the wall
through which shone, a beam of light
Onward it crept with added strength
following, the light through the crevice length
and unfolded Himself on the other side
The light, the dew, the broadening view.
were found just as before,
The Rose, OUR ROSE still grows beyond the wall
Breathing His fragrance more and more
Just as He did
Just as he will forevermore
Adapted from the writings of A L Frank..
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as presented at the Funeral on 01/06/05
Tim –
The best friend a guy could ever have.
Most of the people here today I have had the chance to
sit with, listen to and reflect the significance of Tim in their life.
Surrounding myself in other people’s pieces of Tim has given me comfort
to know that he is still living with us through our memories and through
the way he has helped shape our lives. I would like to take some time to
share with you my little piece of Tim, something I have held onto very
tightly over the past few weeks.
We first met in 1993, when we both started year 5 at St
Paul’s. I can’t remember how we first came to be friends, but I am so
glad to have spent the best part of my life with the best mate I could
have ever wished for. I can’t imagine in my mind a closer friendship, a
better partnership than the one I had with Tim, no one else came close
to what he was to me.
Connie Rogers said to me on the Sunday after the crash
that she couldn’t imagine one of us without the other, and that’s
how it was. Spending time with Tim was the most valuable thing in my
life. Living, learning and growing up together, every moment spent with
Tim was worthwhile.
Together it felt like we were invincible!
I have such wonderful memories of Tim at the house at
Caboolture. Lighting fires, cutting down trees, towing each other around
behind the ride on mower, riding through the landscaped gardens on
mountain bikes, it was a teenage boy’s wonderland.
The best memories I have are of us just tackling
something together. Together we were excellent problem solvers, and I
really enjoyed the way we could bounce ideas off each other. If one of
us didn’t have the answer the other always did. Our teamwork was
phenomenal and between the two of us we could always come to a good
conclusion. Small mundane tasks soon turned into large scale projects
which were always completed to the best of our abilities, something that
is reflected in all of Tim’s personal achievements. With Tim it didn’t
matter what you were doing it always felt significant, even though you
often spent the next day undoing it all.
When the family moved to Albany Creek is was
disappointing to leave behind the weekends of adventure we shared, but
having Tim live only a 5 minute bike ride away meant we could easily
spend time together, mountain biking, crashing the computer, or relaxing
with a quiet but energetic game of backyard cricket.
We didn’t talk to each other about our problems much,
spending time together was our way of helping each other. The
distraction of undertaking our activities together was enough to clear
the mind of worries; just doing things together with Tim made everything
feel right. I could also take comfort in the fact that if I really
did need to talk to someone about anything it would be Tim. He always
knew what was going on, even though we rarely talked explicitly about
it. In the past few months when he was living in Cairns we did start to
talk about things more and it shocked me how accurately he knew what was
going on with me.
We were perfect compliments to each other!
When mountain biking, Tim had fitness, I had agility. He
would always take the lead up the hills and wait for me at the top, then
he’d let me lead him in the downhill’s and pick the best lines. We would
feed off each others skills and abilities, helping each other become
better cyclists. This was also true in all aspects life, learning from
each other, guiding one another. Tim always helped me see my potential
in life, and I always felt like my light shone brighter when he was
around.
Tim motivated me – and I’ll miss him badly for that. The
way he approached life was to run with things and JUST DO IT. Tim always
amazed me by the way he could take a small idea and a window of
opportunity and create an epic adventure. His ride to Sydney to raise
money for canteen was an idea that sprouted and burst into life within a
matter of weeks and he made it a huge success. Tim’s flight around
Australia, so spontaneous and grand in scale that he was gone before
most could think twice about his offer for a trip of a lifetime!
In all the things Tim shared with me he was the
motivator. On arriving home from his Sydney bike ride he continued to
ride his road bike, further faster and better than we ever did mountain
biking. Tim’s enjoyment motivated me to take up road cycling,
something I am so glad to have done, but would have never done without
him. I have many strong memories of cycling with Tim. Whether side by
side chatting as we spun down the road, sprinting our guts out to
achieve some phenomenal average or single file sitting in his draft and
battling a headwind, I was there because of him, and loving it. There
was nothing better than meeting up in summer for our 4am bike rides and
riding side by side in to the glorious sunrise. I remember telling him
that there was nothing I’d rather be doing, and the people who were
sleeping in their houses around us were missing out on something
extremely special.
It is just not the same to be on the bike without Tim
pushing me. Hopefully I can continue in his footsteps and continue to
motivate and push Grant and Jo so that we all may enjoy those early
mornings together.
Tim’s energy was incredible and I was always overwhelmed
by his passion for flying. I adored the way he shared his adventures
with me, teaching me about the aircraft and how to fly. The sparkle in
his eye when he was teaching you was amazing, you could see that the
only thing better for him than flying was flying with someone else. I
always leapt at any chance to go flying with him, and he often joked
that I should get my own log book to log all the hours he spent teaching
me about climbs, descents, landings, takeoffs, navigation, and even the
radio calls.
One day I received a message from him that he had just
landed in Longreach, I told him that I was about to sit an income tax
law exam – I know what I’d have rather been doing. Some time later I
called him to let him know that John Travolta, one of his favourite
movie stars and a fellow aviator, was in town with his 707 and would be
flying to Longreach that day. Unfortunately Tim was flying with Duncan
MacKellar to Blackwater that day and didn’t have the spare time, but
that night I received a call bragging about what he had done. Through
Tim’s spontaneous motivation for doing things he had organized himself
to take time off after dropping off Duncan and flew out to
Longreach to land his plane just before John Travolta. He told me
how as he stood on the apron his movie star hero walked away from the
waiting public and media to shake Tim’s hand and talk to him.
I spent much of the last few months telling Tim how lucky
he is to be living life to its fullest. He had moved to beautiful Palm
Cove, was living with amazing people, flying the planes he loved so
dearly and had found a girlfriend who loved him and made him complete.
Tim was living the life of the happy and successful people he idolized.
With Tim’s passing I hope that we can all take our little
pieces of him so he may continue to live with us in our hearts. Tim I
know you have had a huge influence in my life, and I already miss you
dearly. Your motivation has now become my inspiration to live life to
its fullest and try to run with every opportunity that presents itself
to me.
'Thank you mate for all great the times we shared
together, and may we share many more in the times ahead.'
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as presented at the Memorial Service on 17/05/05
25-07-83 – 07-05-05
Many people walk in
and out of our lives, but true friends will leave footprints on your
heart. It is easy to see looking around this room that Tim must
have done an awful lot of walking in his life because he surely has left
many on everyone’s hearts here.
Tim’s presence in my
life has contributed to who I am today, and we are all blessed to have
known him. Tim was always someone you knew you could call on.
No matter where he was or what was wrong, if one of his friends needed
him he was at their side in a flash!
There are many words
that can be used to describe Tim – caring, encouraging, dependable,
compassionate, daredevil, strong, lovable and cheeky. But there
are 2 things that Tim used to say to me that I think encompass who he
was perfectly.
The first is – “If
you’re not living on the edge you’re taking up too much room, so play
hard or go home”.
Tim was never
someone who was content to sit on the sidelines – he wanted to be out
there doing things, right in the thick of it, or more precisely, out in
front – leading the way.
Looking back, this
was shown many times through the things he accomplished in his much too
short life. He used to try and find the positive in everything he
did. Something especially positive that he did was the bike ride
to Sydney in 2002 to commemorate and celebrate the life of Kristie who
we lost in 2000. This was a big ask of himself, but as usual Timmy
did it, and did it well – raising money for a friend and a worthwhile
cause on the way.
He ought to be very
proud of this, as he also should be about achieving his goal of learning
to fly! Once again he decided there was something he wanted to do with
his life, so he went out and did it! I still remember the first
day he flew solo, I got a message from him in big capital letters –
“TIMMY FLY SOLO! It’s such a good feeling, the plane goes so much harder
without extra weight. Timmy can Fly!”. And fly he did, right
around Australia.
Anyone who ever
talked to Tim about flying could see that he had a passion for what he
was doing, it was like all his Christmases had come at once. In
the 12 years that I had known Tim I had never seen him as happy and he
was in the past few months. He just seemed to fit into his skin
like never before – like there was a self confidence there that he
should have had all along but didn’t. He had found something he
was really good at and really enjoyed and in doing so achieved his dream
of flying. He had the support of his family and friends around
him, and he had found someone to love, he was in his element.
And so reminds me of
the second thing that he used to say – “Keep smiling Belle, makes people
wonder what you’ve been up to!”
One of the most
endearing things about Tim was his smile. It was a cheeky smile
that really did make you wonder what mischief he and his partner in
crime had gotten up to now!
One story that
reminds me of this is that my mum ran into Tim and Jo once on their way
into a shopping expedition – and being the friendly guy he was they
stopped to chat before going on their way. The next day I was
talking to Tim and he told me with a little glint in his eye that I
should ask mum about her windscreen wipers… I didn’t really understand
this but Tim just smiled and said “I’m not telling, you ask her”.
So I did what I was told, and Mum broke out laughing saying “Was that
him!!!!! The cheeky… So and so” Then she explained that when she had
returned to her car, grocery bags in hand all her windscreen wipers were
standing on end! Tim had made a little visit to her car on his way home
just to make sure she knew he’d been! It was just the kind of
practical joke that we all knew and loved him for!
'Well Timmy – we all know you’ve been, we have the
footprints on our hearts that will last forever! Continue to keep
smiling wherever you are, and until our paths cross again – know and
remember how many people loved you and always will!'
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as presented at the Memorial Service on 17/06/05
TO BE ADDED
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as presented at the Memorial Service on 17/06/05
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as presented at the Memorial Service on 17/06/05
TO BE ADDED
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